


The Winchesters' Big Gay New Year's Eve Party

by kisahawklin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, New Year's Eve, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to another fic that inspired the idea of a fake boyfriends party!</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Winchesters' Big Gay New Year's Eve Party

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to another fic that inspired the idea of a fake boyfriends party!

"Hey, bitches," Charlie calls, sliding into the main room a la Risky Business. "Kansas has joined the twenty-first century!"

Dean looks up at her quizzically, but Sam just keeps reading his paper. She's clearly losing her touch. "Congratulations, Charlie," he says, flipping a page. 

"What?" Dean asks, looking over Sam's shoulder at the paper. "What congratulations?" 

Sam puts the paper down and frowns at Dean, looking disappointed. Charlie smiles. She loves it when they bicker. "We just got rid of the same-sex marriage ban," Sam says. "Would it kill you to keep up on local news? Or _vote_?"

Dean's mouth drops open and starts working like a fish, and it's pretty rare that Sam gets the better of Dean so completely, so Charlie steps in. "Yeah, ban drops on the first of the year, so I think we should have a Big Gay New Year's Eve party!"

Dean glances around the bunker, already forming his "secret bunker" speech, Charlie knows, but she cuts him off at the pass.

"You have a lot of friends that know about the bunker," Charlie says, "and seriously, the rest of them probably should, too – this is an incredible resource."

"Has anyone ever taught you the meaning of _secret_?" Dean asks, but Sam's nodding along with her. 

"I've been thinking about beefing up the protection spells," Sam says, glancing down at his phone and grinning. "They're supposed to be strengthened every once in a while, so we should refresh them anyway. But I was thinking of adding a spell where only the chosen could enter – so we could pick the people that can actually come into the bunker."

Dean nods, thoughtful. Charlie's eyes light up. "Oooh, ooh – if you did it right, no one with a passenger would be able to step inside, either – so you'd know if someone was possessed."

Charlie's immediately sorry for her outburst when Sam shifts uncomfortably in his chair and Dean closes down. By this point in her relationship with the Winchesters, Charlie knows to just keep going through the rough patch, so she sits down next to Sam, opens her laptop, and starts making invitations. "There," she says, glancing up at Dean and Sam, both of whom still look sullen. "Do they need to get spellwork done before the party? I should probably add a note, if so."

"Nah," Sam says. "We can do it at the party – it's a good reason to get all our friends in one place, anyway. We should probably give you a list."

"Yeah," Charlie says. "Or I might've hacked your phones and gotten a list already."

Dean grins at her – she knows it's something he would do, oh he of no personal space – but Sam smiles at her indulgently, which means he keeps any embarrassing contacts somewhere else. She raises an eyebrow at him in challenge. 

He just keeps smiling at her, and that's even _more_ disturbing. She's going to have to toss his room later.

She clicks send and watches the invites go out the door. Sam clicks on his, looking at it on his phone, smiling still, which is getting really disturbing, and Dean digs his phone out of his pocket distractedly, having taken the paper away from Sam to read the front page news about the ban.

Kevin statics in and Charlie yelps. She will never get used to Kevin being able to travel all over – but it figures he would be the one to figure out in-the-veil travel. "Hey," Kevin says.

"Hey Kevin," Dean says, picking up the phone he dropped when Kevin popped in. 

"Let me guess," Kevin says, looking down at Charlie. "This was your idea."

"Of course it was," Charlie says, smiling brightly. "And I'm glad you're here, actually – will you ask your mom to be my date?"

Kevin makes a face, but Charlie stands firm. Linda is hot, and it may only be for one night, and it may only be fake girlfriends, but Charlie would totally hit that, and she isn't going to pass up the opportunity.

"Ew," Kevin says. 

Dean's grinning a mile wide – she knows he would totally hit that too, if he wasn't so afraid of her. 

Fine," Kevin says. "But do we really have to have dates?"

Dean glances up sharply at her, finally getting his phone open and looking at the invitation.

"Dates?" Dean asks, opening his mouth to complain, she's sure, before the light bulb comes on. "I'm bringing Sam," he says, and Sam produces one of the best bitchfaces she's seen yet. Well done, Sam.

"No you are not," Sam says, as a text makes his phone buzz. 

Dean starts sputtering incoherently. "What do you mean, I am not?"

She and Kevin share an amused glance and sit back to watch the fireworks.

"You're my brother, Dean, that's just gross." Sam's texting again, his smile getting bigger.

"You've played my boyfriend before," Dean complains, and Charlie grimaces. Having been on the receiving end of Dean's fake-boyfriend act, that is not a selling point.

"Not on purpose," Sam says, "and besides, you're a shitty fake boyfriend." 

Charlie raises a fist under the table and Sam sneaks her a fistbump.

"I'm an awesome fake boyfriend," Dean says, and then, obviously realizing he's still short a date, says, "Dibs on Cas!"

Sam smiles beatifically and says, "Sorry, no." He holds up his phone and Dean grabs it. "Cas is _my_ fake boyfriend."

Before Dean can finish reading whatever is on the phone, Castiel pops in with a rush of wings and smell of ozone. "Good afternoon," he says, looking around the table at all of them and shifting a little. "I'm sorry, I had not expected everyone to be here."

Charlie's not sure why that would be a problem, but Cas just sighs, producing a single long-stemmed red rose out from under his trench coat and handing it to Sam. Charlie can feel her own face go slack with surprise, but she recovers well enough to look at Dean and the complete shock on his face is something she will treasure forever.

"I look forward to our date, Sam," Cas says, taking Sam's hand and kissing his knuckles. "I just wanted to let you know, as I may not be in touch before the party. I'm on a case."

If Sam was surprised, Charlie missed it, watching Dean's reaction instead, but she's pretty amused by his embarrassment now. "Uh, thanks, Cas. Do you need any help with the case?"

"No thank you," Castiel says, glancing around the room and nodding at each of them briefly. "I will see you all soon."

There's a chorus of "bye, Cas" and Cas flaps out of the room, leaving a smug-looking Sam and an annoyed-looking Dean. 

Dean heaves a long-suffering sigh. "Fine. Kevin, will you be my fake boyfriend?"

Kevin flickers, something Charlie knows happens with any strong emotion. She's not sure, but she thinks this one was laughter. 

"Uh, no," Kevin says. 

"Why not?" Dean whines, and Charlie has got to admit, this party was probably the best idea in the history of _ever_.

"Because you're a shitty boyfriend."

Dean sputters again, throwing his hands up. "It's _fake_!" 

"Yeah," Kevin says, flickering along the edges in amusement. "But you're the one that needs a date."

"What?" Dean says, his voice rising. "Who are _you_ going with?" 

"I'm gonna go ask Garth," Kevin says.

"He's _married_ ," Dean answers, looking more and more pissed off, and seriously, _best idea ever_. Charlie is never going to let Dean live this down.

"It's _fake_ ," Kevin mimics, waving at Charlie and Sam before flickering out.

"What the hell," Dean says, thumping a fist on the table. "I hadn't even thought of Garth."

Charlie is pretty sure she's never seen Dean so completely flummoxed. She decides to throw him a bone. "Aaron from the Judah Initiative is invited," she hints.

"At least you know he's fake-interested in you," Sam says, getting up from the table, twirling his long-stemmed rose. "You should ask him."

"I hate you," Dean says, but Sam just smiles sweetly at him, putting the flower up to his nose and sniffing exaggeratedly. 

A response comes into her inbox and she claps her hand in delight. "Jody and Donna are coming together," she says, and Dean rolls his eyes and takes out his phone, scrolling through his contacts and punching one angrily. 

"Hello, Aaron?"

~~~

Sam watches Charlie flit around the bunker for the next three days, putting up decorations, stockpiling champagne, and researching hors d'oeuvres recipes. He's pretty sure she's not actually going to be cooking – at least he hopes not – but he's going to keep an eye on the kitchen on New Year's Eve just to be safe.

She's gotten responses from everyone, all with an appropriate partner. It's a little surprising, really, how easily they all paired up. He still laughs at Cas's appearance with the rose – you could've knocked Dean over with a feather.

You could've knocked Sam over with a feather, come to think of it, but Cas's sense of humor is always surprising like that. Sam hopes this is about Cas's sense of humor, because if Cas is taking the fake boyfriend thing seriously, they're going to have a heart-to-heart before their kiss at midnight.

Everything is set up, Jody, Donna, and Charlie getting ready in the bunker's locker room-style bathroom. He and Dean will be up next, once the women've all cleared out. 

The rest of the guests are coming in by angel express, and Sam mutters a short prayer of Thanksgiving for Cas finding the remnants of his grace last year, and his wings healing up, finally. He thought maybe he was done with praying, after what they learned about God going missing, but somehow, he can't give it up, and it makes him feel better when he does, so he's kept up with it, even if no one is really listening.

Dean comes in from the kitchen, setting down a huge tray of crackers and a gigantic bowl of nacho chips, both covered in plastic wrap. He sizes up the decorations and nods. "How long have we got before people start popping in?" 

"A couple of hours," Sam says. "Charlie should give us the go-ahead for the bathroom pretty soon."

"I have more prep to do," Dean says. "Give me a hand?"

Sam smiles, pleased that Dean's gotten on board with the whole party idea, and follows his brother into the kitchen.

~~~

Castiel wouldn't admit it to… well, _anyone_ , but least of all the Winchesters, but he really missed his wings. It wasn't necessary to admit it to his brothers and sisters because he knew they felt the same, but sometimes he just wanted to fly around the world for hours on end, practicing his landings, which, to be truthful, had gotten a little rusty.

"Hey Cas," Dean says, when he lands in the overly-large bathroom in the bunker. He's flossing his teeth in front of one of the mirrors over the row of sinks.

Damn. With the Winchesters, he doesn't usually bother to gauge his landings, he usually just chooses a spot close to where he can feel their souls. He remembers, now, why this can be uncomfortable, but there's no help for it now.

"Hey Cas," Sam says, when he pulls his head out from under the spray of one of the showers and sees him there. 

"Hello, Dean. Sam." Castiel tries to shift sideways enough to at least pretend to give Sam some modesty. "I am here to.... what is it you said? Chauffeur?"

"Oh, right," Dean says, taking a cupful of mouthwash and gargling. 

Castiel waits patiently for instruction, but Dean is just making ridiculous faces at him. He looks up into the mirror, realizing that modesty is an impossibility, as Sam is clearly visible, still lathering up his hair. Castiel tilts his head. He is not sure he has ever seen Sam with wet hair, and it is strange, the way it clings to his skull.

"Hey, Cas," Dean says, and Castiel shifts his eyes guiltily back to Dean. "That part of the date comes at the end."

Castiel turns to face Dean directly, frowning severely. "I simply haven't seen Sam wet before," he says, not expecting the wide eyes and laughter he gets from Dean. He sighs. Dean is such a child sometimes.

"Cas, you should go talk to Charlie," Sam says, leaning back to tilt his head under the spray. "She'll tell you where to find the rest of the guests and what order you should go get them in."

"Thank you, Sam," Castiel says, turning to leave, but not before glaring at Dean one last time.

~~~

Kevin pops into the bunker promptly at 8pm. It's kind of nice, being able to be right on time with nothing more than a thought. He looks around at the decorations, a generic winter theme with pictures of same-sex pairs looking ridiculously cute plastered all over. Subtle.

He looks around at the people that have gathered so far and is surprised at the number. There are two women he doesn't know talking to Charlie, Sam and Garth talking quietly in a corner, two young girls picking at a surprising array of food, and another guy he doesn't know looking around nervously.

Cas pops in with his mom a second later, and Charlie nearly bounces over to greet her date. Kevin rolls his eyes and heads over to Sam and Garth.

"Happy New Year," he greets, smiling when Garth smiles at him. Sam still can't look him in the eyes most days, so he makes his excuses and slouches off, presumably to grab his date.

"Well," Garth says, "isn't this place something?"

Kevin nods. He still thinks of it as a fancy prison, for some reason worse than the houseboat he stayed on for all those months. "There's a hell of a lot of knowledge in here," he says. "And considering the Winchesters haven't stopped hunting long enough to really explore the place, they could probably use some help with the cataloging."

It's something he probably would have enjoyed doing, if he'd made it through their adventures with angels alive. Of course, then his mother would still be locked up in a warehouse somewhere probably, but he can't dwell on any of that. It's hard enough to keep his rage under control on a normal day, and nearly impossible when he thinks about his mom in that awful place.

"Too bad you're incorporeal," Garth says, and that's why Kevin loves him – he doesn't avoid Kevin's eyes, doesn't treat him with kid gloves – "the spread is pretty amazing."

Kevin glances over at the table, at the piles of things he expected, cut fruit and vegetables, crackers and chips and dip, and then the piles of things he didn't, like baked brie and something small and delicious-smelling in tart shells. He's pretty sure that's Dean's doing, but he'll ask Dean later.

Charlie raises her champagne glass and tinks it with a fork. "Now that we're all here," she says, how about a toast and some introductions?"

There's a few murmers and some scrambling for glasses, and then everyone has a glass to raise. Well, except Kevin, but he's not bitter. Much.

"To the lifting of the ban on same-sex marriage in Kansas," Charlie says, "and to a new year full of friends and love and laughter."

There's a chorus of _cheers_ and _I'll drink to that_ s and Kevin nods as everyone sips their drinks. Then Charlie's pointing to him and saying, "Kev, why don't you start the introductions?" and oh, shit, Kevin hates this part.

"Uh," he says, looking around at the group. "I'm Kevin Tran, Prophet of the Lord. I met the Winchesters when they found their first tablet of The Word of God. And," he says, stepping closer to Garth, "this is my fake boyfriend, Garth."

The girls' eyes all went wide at the mention of the tablet, as did the guy he doesn't know. It's a little weird, people not knowing about the tablets.

"I'm Garth Fitzgerald IV," Garth says, interrupting Kevin's train of thought. "And I've known the Winchesters for a few years now. Oh, and I'm a werewolf."

Kevin enjoys the look of shock on most people's faces, and most of them turn to the Winchesters for an explanation, and both of them are putting their hands up, talking over each other to let their other guests know it's okay. "It's fine," Dean says, as Sam explains, "He's got it under control, we keep an eye on him, he hasn't eaten anybody."

The only one who seemed truly spooked was the guy standing next to Dean, Dean's date, Kevin supposes, but he's the only one that hadn't seemed surprised by the bunker. Curious, yes, but not awestruck like the rest of the guests.

Charlie's two friends are a pair of sheriffs from a few states over, the girls are hunters, which makes Kevin's skin crawl, even knowing that the Winchesters have been doing this since they were children, and Dean's date is from another secret society called the Judah Initiative. That makes Kevin grin.

His mom introduces herself as his mother and most of the women turn and smile at him then, which is weird but he doesn't mind. He even eyes up the young two, thinking they're about his age and both really pretty. Until he remembers that they didn't say they were fake girlfriends. The way their hands are linked together, he guesses they're real girlfriends, just his luck. 

Castiel and Charlie introduce themselves and then finally Dean and Sam, who do it as a sort of package deal, which is how everyone knows them anyway. Suddenly something is hanging over their heads, and when they notice everyone looking over them, they look up too. 

"Mistletoe?" Dean complains. "Really, Charlie?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "It's her party, just go with it." And he leans in and pecks Dean on the lips and then leaves the scene. Kevin would bet he won't be standing within ten feet of his brother for the rest of the party. Sam is one strategic bastard. 

When Sam steps aside, Charlie is revealed, holding a long branch with a leafy bit of green at the end that Kevin presumes is mistletoe, as he's never actually seen it himself. 

She chases a few of them around with it for a while, and everyone but Jody, the older sheriff lady, runs away. When Jody doesn't, Charlie takes it as a challenge and holds the mistletoe over her own head. 

"Oh, honey," Jody says, "You don't scare me with that thing." And she grabs Charlie's shoulders, pulling her forward into a full-on kiss.

"Hey!" his mom says, stalking over to the pair of them. "Charlie's _my_ fake girlfriend. Get yourself your own to kiss." And then _she_ leans in to kiss Charlie and Kevin blanks out of existence for a few minutes to get control of his embarrassment.

When he pops back in, the festivities are back on track, people sitting in clumps talking shop, eating, and drinking. Charlie is a gracious hostess, making her way from group to group to be certain no one is feeling left out. Every once in a while she produces the mistletoe out of nowhere, and people have relaxed enough to just go with it and kiss. 

Castiel is reading poetry to Sam, who is about as embarrassed as Kevin's ever seen him, and considering everything Dean does to make that happen on a daily basis, Kevin is impressed. Dean is sitting next to Aaron, looking sullen, and Aaron is looking bored. 

Garth is talking to the two girls, hopefully, Kevin thinks, getting their information and setting himself up as a resource for them. He hates to think of two girls their age hunting. They're both in college, though, so maybe they're just doing local hunts or something. The idea makes him feel a little better, but he wanders over to join the conversation.

As he listens to Krissy tell the story of how she met the Winchesters (and how Dean was the one she imprinted on (why is it always Dean? Kevin wonders)), his eyes go over the guests again. Jody and his mom are talking, and if his mom comes home with an honest-to-god girlfriend from this party, he's going to… well. He's probably going to be happy for her. But it would definitely be weird.

Charlie is talking to Donna, and Donna is blushing furiously pink. You know, he wouldn't even have put it past Charlie to put some kind of spell on the place to make them all gay, if only for the night. Doesn't seem to be working on Garth, though, and definitely not on Dean and Aaron. Kevin excuses himself from his little group to head over to Dean and his date. 

Before he can quite get there, Charlie has snuck up behind Sam, and out comes the mistletoe, which apparently Castiel takes very seriously, because he stops talking, looking upward (and damn, Kevin realizes, that branch is really long, if Charlie can get it over Sam's head). He waits for Sam to look up and back down and maybe acknowledge what's coming before he takes Sam in his arms and _dips him_ , kissing him lightly on the lips and standing him back up in a whoosh of motion. 

Sam looks completely dumbfounded, Castiel looks smug, and Charlie looks like she might explode with happiness. When he looks down at Dean, though, he's moved from sullen into downright pissy.

"What's the matter, Dean?" Kevin asks. 

Dean looks up at him, his eyes skittering away after a second. If there's something that'll get Dean off of self-pity, it's guilt, and Kevin's not afraid to use that. "Annoyed that you didn't get to Castiel first?"

"What?" Aaron asks, feigning annoyance. "I was your second choice?"

Dean glares at Kevin, a _thanks a lot_ glare that Kevin knows mostly gets thrown Sam's way, and opens his mouth to mollify his fake boyfriend. 

Just because he owes Dean a few more kicks while he's down, he says, "Third, actually. He asked me but I turned him down."

Dean turns a very satisfying amazed face on Kevin, like he can't decide whether that was totally awesome or completely dickish (and in fact, it had been both, so Kevin can understand his indecision), and Kevin wanders away as Aaron says, "You asked a _ghost_ – no, a _kid_ ghost before you asked me?"

Kevin knows that in a second Aaron's going to look around the room and realize he was absolutely Dean's last choice. Charlie wanders over, whether to get closer to the proceedings or to get them to calm down, Kevin has no idea. Then she pulls out the mistletoe and dangles it over Dean's head. He rolls his eyes and whines, "Charlie."

Charlie just continues to dangle the mistletoe and Aaron finally gives in. "Oh, fine," he says. "So you're a terrible fake boyfriend. At least you're _my_ fake boyfriend." He leans in to kiss Dean, but Dean shifts at the last second so Aaron gets his cheek.

Aaron pulls back, rolling his eyes. "You're the worst fake boyfriend ever, Dean. I'm breaking up with you."

There's a gasp from around the room, and Charlie actually looks upset. Dean rolls his eyes and heads over to the liquor cabinet, not unexpected, really, and Sam rushes over to check on Charlie. Aaron had been heading over to where Sam and Castiel were, but stopped when Sam rushed off to Charlie's side. 

Interesting. 

Kevin's getting into this. It's a little like a soap opera. Jody and Donna have gone over to talk to the young girls – to provide more resources, he hopes – and Garth comes over to rescue Aaron, shaking his hand firmly and bringing him over to the table with all the food. 

His mom goes to Dean's side, taking away his whiskey glass and draining it herself. Dean looks down at the glass, and Kevin would bet he's debating whether or not it's worth it to try again. He really should know better.

Castiel is standing by himself, looking confused, and Kevin makes his way over to see if he can help.

"What's up, Castiel?"

Castiel glances upward, but seems to catch himself before he answers with something literal, like the ceiling. "I am unsure of why Dean is so upset," Castiel answers, and Kevin sighs. 

"Wow, you go straight for the $64,000 question, don't you?"

Castiel tilts his head, a gesture that would be charming, if Kevin didn't find the angel scary as hell. "Yes, I suppose so," he answers. "No other question seems pertinent at the moment."

Kevin laughs. "Well, perhaps you should go ask him, then. Going straight to the source and all."

Castiel shakes his head. "I don't think so. Dean never answers questions directly. Perhaps I will talk to Aaron Bass. His grandfather was known amongst angels."

Huh. Learn something new every day. "Great," he says, shooing Castiel off.

Sam's done talking to Charlie and is approaching Dean with determination, and Kevin goes invisible for a bit to listen in on that conversation. Winchesters are at their funniest when they're being bitchy to each other.

"Dean, you're ruining Charlie's party," Sam says, and damn. That's a good opener.

Dean rolls his eyes. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Sam says. "You're _moping_."

"I am not," Dean whines, reaching for the tumbler again.

His mom grabs it and the bottle of whiskey and breezes off to where Donna's sitting. "Damn it," Dean complains, and reaches for another tumbler. 

Sam grabs his wrist, squeezing tightly enough to get a huffed breath of air out of Dean, which is roughly the equivalent of a scream from a normal person. "Dean, seriously. Whatever the issue is, _get over it_."

Dean looks at his brother mutinously, and for a second, Kevin thinks a punch might be coming Sam's way. 

"I'm not a shitty fake boyfriend," Dean says tightly.

Sam's face shifts into one Kevin hasn't seen for a long time, his earnest, _I love my brother but he's a complete moron_ face. "Yeah, you are," Sam says kindly. "But it doesn't matter, Dean. Because you're not a shitty _real_ boyfriend, and that's the part that counts."

Dean's mouth falls open, complete disbelief on his face, and just a hint of something else. Anger, maybe, or betrayal? Both of which would be completely normal for the Winchesters when having a broment, so Kevin doesn't think twice about it.

"Mistletoe!" Charlie squeaks, and they look up to see it above their heads again. Kevin's seriously impressed. Not too many people can sneak up on the Winchesters twice in one night.

Sam smiles and pulls Dean into a hug, turning his head to kiss Dean on the ear. "Happy New Year, you idiot," Sam says, and Dean brings his arms up to hug his brother. 

And that, Kevin decides, makes this the best New Year's Eve party he's ever been to. 

Well, that and the fact that it's the only New Year's Eve party he's ever been to.

~~~

Dean hates it when Sam's right. He gets so damn overbearing about it, all smug smiles like he knows something Dean doesn't. When Sam pulls him in for a hug, though, something they haven't done in… god, years, now… Dean puts his arms around his brother, the asshole.

When Sammy finally lets him go, he's only a little surprised to see most of the people in the bunker staring at them. He clears his throat and walks away from the liquor cabinet, going for one of the flutes of champagne set up next to his awesome spread of hors d'oeuvres instead. Kevin pops into existence next to him and Dean bobbles the champagne but doesn't lose any.

"You do that on purpose, don't you?"

Kevin grins. "Yep. And it's funny to watch, every time."

Dean lets the kid have his jollies, picking up a plate and putting a pile of cheese and crackers on it. The baked brie idea was amazing – he wishes he had made two. Part of him is thinking about getting Cas to whisk him to the grocery store so he can get the fixings for another one and put it in the oven. 

He wanders over to Cas, who is standing alone, watching Sam and Aaron talk research from a distance.

"Looks like your fake boyfriend is two-timing you, Cas," Dean says, and Cas turns a mean-looking glare at him. 

"Sam would not do that," Cas says, and Dean has to admit, he's right, not that Cas would know that.

"Well, if I had a Winchester on the hook," Dean says, grinning because this is going to be _so much fun_ , "I wouldn't let him hang around all casual with other guys. Especially single ones."

Cas tilts his head at Dean, like he's trying to figure out if he's serious, and then stalks off toward Sam and Aaron. 

"That was mean," Kevin says. 

"Yeah," Dean says, "but I owe all of those jerks one, and this is going to be fun."

Kevin follows Dean as he not-so-nonchalantly makes his way into listening range of Cas, Sam, and Aaron.

Cas wanders up, looping his arm in Sam's, leaning into his side. "Uh, hi, Cas," Sam says. "Do you need something?"

"No," Cas answers. "Just wanted to cuddle with my fake boyfriend, is that okay?"

Dean watches Sam cycle through about twelve different possible answers to the question before he settles on, "Cas, are you jealous?"

Cas turns to look at Dean, probably to see if Dean will tell him the right answer to that question, so Dean nods his head once, discreetly. 

"Yes," Cas answers.

Aaron's eyebrows are so high on his face they're about to fly off, and Sam stares at Cas, speechless for a solid ten seconds.

"I hope you mean you're _fake_ jealous because you're my fake boyfriend," Sam says. "Not to mention – two guys _can_ be just friends. You know that, right?"

Cas looks more confused than ever, and this time he doesn't even glance at Dean, probably because he knows Dean screwed him over with his last answer. 

"Y…yes?" Cas asks, looking up at Sam earnestly. "I… yes, of course." He chances a look at Dean and then looks back at Sam. "Which two guys?"

That's just too good, Dean can't help laughing. 

"Cas, seriously," Sam says, removing Cas's hand from his arm while he glares at Dean, "don't take dating advice from my brother."

"Right," Cas says, backing up. "I'll just… let you get back to your conversation."

Sam smiles at Cas indulgently as Cas backs away from him, and Dean takes pity on him and steers him away from Sam. "Hey, would you mind zapping me to the store?" Dean asks. "The baked brie is almost gone and I want to make another one."

"Are there stores open at this hour?" Cas asks, and Dean glances down at his watch. Ten thirty already, where the hell did the night go? 

"I'm sure there is somewhere," Dean answers. "I just need a wheel of brie and some sundried tomatoes. I have all the rest of the stuff here already."

Cas glances over his shoulder at Sam, where he's talking animatedly to Aaron and sighs. "Fine. Where would you like to go?'

Dean thinks about it. "Whole Foods has a pretty good cheese counter, right?" he asks, clearly rhetorical because obviously Cas wouldn't have a clue. "There's got to be one still open on the West Coast, right?"

They end up at a Whole Foods in Los Angeles somewhere, a two-story monstrosity that takes him ten minutes to find the damn cheese counter and three sales associates to find the sundried tomatoes. Still, there's a huge liquor section and he picks up a couple of cases of mismatched microbrews. He's not that big on champagne, and he knows Jody, at least, would appreciate something a little less bubbly.

"Do you think I'm a bad boyfriend?" Cas asks while they're wandering the aisles.

"Uh," Dean says, because he's never really had to judge anyone else's boyfriend status, and apparently he's been put off teasing people about being a bad boyfriend, so weirdly, he wants to give Cas a straight answer. "No?"

"No, you don't think I'm a bad boyfriend, or no, Castiel, stop talking, I don't want to discuss this right now?"

That's a little more astute than Dean had been expecting, so he turns around to face Cas.

" _Fake_ boyfriend, Cas." Cas is not looking at Dean directly, so he hunches down to catch Cas's eyes. " _Fake_. Whether or not you're a good boyfriend won't be known until you're in an actual relationship."

"Like you," Cas says. "You're a bad fake boyfriend but a good real one."

Dean wonders how much Cas knows about him and Lisa; presumably he's working off of Dean's own perceptions. 

… Or, he kept tabs on Dean for that year he was with Lisa and Ben. 

"Cas?" he starts, not sure if he wants the answer to the question he's about to ask.

"Yes, Dean?"

Dean can't quite voice the question – or maybe he isn't really sure what it is. Lisa and Ben spear him through every time he thinks of them, so normally, he doesn't. He keeps them packed away inside with a million other things that never see the light of day, and only Sam, and now apparently Cas, can bring them to light, and he doesn't want to discuss this. Ever.

"Never mind. Don't worry about the fake boyfriend shit, okay? You're doing great, especially for Sam. And when you're someone's boyfriend for real, then ask me the other question, and I'll tell you. The truth, even."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says seriously, and Dean suddenly wants to be utterly and completely drunk for midnight. He deserves it, and they haven't rung in a new year in years – maybe a couple of decades. He and Sam got a bottle of Everclear one year before either of them was legal and got totally smashed. That is still his best New Year's memory ever. 

He wanders back through the alcohol section and picks up two bottles of Everclear. He glances down at his watch and it's quarter past eleven, so he needs to get back to the bunker.

Cas takes them back straight out of the grocery aisle, Dean with brie and tomatoes stuffed in his pockets and both of them carrying copious amounts of alcohol. Cas takes them back to the kitchen, which is a pretty thoughtful landing, considering his last few attempts. He'd brought Linda right into Dean's bedroom, where he'd been cleaning up the last few bits of his laundry before the party. 

"Good landing, Cas," he says, pulling the brie out of his jacket and the sundried tomatoes out of his pocket. He twists the cap off the Everclear and starts in on that, too.

By the time Sam comes looking for him in the kitchen, Cas a few paces behind, Dean is good and trashed. He's gotten past the point where Everclear tastes like death and has started taking swigs straight from the bottle, forgoing the shot glass. 

He's watching the brie in the oven, watching the cheese bubble under the sundried tomatoes and pine nuts, nearly dying at the smell. It's going to be so tasty when it's finally ready.

"Dean," Sam says, disapproval clear in his voice. Dean's a little sad that he hadn't thought to bring Sam in when he started the Everclear shots – Sam's always a lot more fun when he's in on the drunk.

"Sam," Dean retorts, the same short bark of a name that's equivalent to a reprimand.

"Dean, seriously, we have guests out there. What were you thinking?"

Dean's already at the point of not-caring. Usually that's okay; it's either just the two of them in relatively safe surroundings or Cas there to watch over their stupidity and make sure they don't kill themselves. He probably shouldn't be working the oven, but the brie smells amazing, so he's perfectly willing to sit on the floor with his head against the door.

"Brie," Dean gets out, pointing at it as Cas pulls his head away from the door and puts two fingers against it. 

Not only does it heal the burn, of course, it takes care of his carefully cultivated drunk, and Dean frowns. "I was working on a perfectly happy drunk for New Year's," Dean says, glancing down at his watch. Six minutes to go – not really enough time to get drunk again. _Dammit, Cas._

Sam leans down to look in the oven. "Looks done to me," he says. "You should probably bring it out to the party. It's going to be midnight soon."

Dean sighs and pulls the brie out of the oven, sticking his finger in it and tasting, burning both his finger and his tongue.

"Dean," Cas sighs, putting two fingers to Dean's head. The pain subsides and Dean can taste the gorgeous sharpness of the sundried tomatoes against the earthiness of the brie. "Sometimes you truly are a twelve-year-old."

Dean grins, shoveling the brie onto a plate and bringing it out into the main room. Everyone has champagne glasses and they're standing in groups of two or four.

Krissy and Josephine are staring at each other, each of them with one hand wrapped around a glass of champagne and the other somewhere on the other – Josephine tucking a stray hair behind Krissy's ear and Krissy with a hand possessively on Josephine's waist.

Linda and Charlie are similarly looking into each other's eyes, and Garth has got Kevin's ring in his hands. Kevin is flickering uncertainly.

Donna and Aaron are standing next to Sam and Jody, and Cas is standing in the middle of the room, holding two champagne flutes. "Hurry, Dean," he says, holding one out to him. "We only have a few moments left."

Dean doesn't let it get weird, he just goes to Cas and takes the champagne, saluting "Happy New Year" with the rest of them and drinking it all down in a single gulp as Charlie counts down from ten.

"Three, two, one!" Charlie says, and Cas steps forward before Dean can catch his breath, or wonder if maybe he's still a little bit drunk, and puts his hands on Dean's face, kissing him sweetly at the stroke of midnight.

"Happy New Year, Dean," Cas says.

~~~

Tomorrow, Cas will ask Dean if he's a good boyfriend. And tomorrow, Dean will answer honestly.

~~~


End file.
